It is with infinite disgust that I report that my Vile and Wretched Human, known to you by the ridiculous appellation Tom Simon, has just acquired a new specimen of household vermin, species Felis catus.

A photograph of the monstrosity is attached. It was labelled ‘Sonny’ by the SPCA of Hanna, Alberta, whence it was deliberately transported in a heinous plot to disturb the natural depression and infelicity of the house.

Other activities have, of course, been curtailed whilst this vile colony of self-organizing organic refuse is duly installed in the Simon domicile. I told him so, but did he listen? Does any human listen to his demonic alter blogger? Not often enough, that’s the unvarnished truth of it.

(Signed, under protest)
H. Smiggy McStudge


  1. …almost too convulsed with laughter at “vile colony of self-organizing organic refuse” to congratulate Tom properly. It may just replace “ugly bags of mostly water.”

    But not quite. Congratulations on your endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature!

  2. L. Jagi Lamplighter (Wright) says

    Beautiful cat

  3. Oh, poor Smiggy. Such an imposition.

  4. Many happy returns – may it spend a lot of time on your lap, and less on your keyboard.

  5. Awwww!

  6. Stephen K says

    That’s a fine-looking cat. Good luck with him/her.

  7. Eucatastrophe, I hope.

  8. Carbonel says

    May unnatural feline-propagated happiness and felicity abound in your domicile!

  9. Stephen J. says

    Hope this means you’re feline better?


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    […] recently adopted cat, Sonny, had a mild viral infection in his eye when we brought him home from the SPCA. Eye a bit watery, a […]

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