Archives for May 2016

Publishers and pies

Self-styled publishing industry pundit Michael Kozlowski, whose foolishness is exceeded only by his bad manners, had this nugget of conventional wisdom to offer in the comment box of an article on The Passive Voice:

Indie authors are for the most part very lazy. They spam out e-books without any regard for quality and think quantity is better. I have noticed over the years that if you mention the e-book industry declining they will always say “its [sic] because we don’t want/need an ISBN” and then they will defend the indie movement.

If indie authors really wanted to be taken seriously they would buy cheap ISBN numbers and be counted. But that takes a few hours worth of work, something they aren’t willing to do.

Indie authors for the most part are lazy, incompetent and have no regard for the self-publishing movement.

I found that I could not let this go unchallenged. My reply follows:


OK, Kozlowski. I wasn’t going to waste my time commenting on your drivel at its original location, because I have a pretty strong suspicion that disapproving comments are ‘curated’ out of existence. But you’re here, so I’ll have a bash.

We ‘indie’ authors are so God-rotted lazy that we actually start our own publishing businesses. We not only write the books; we hire editors and copyeditors, commission cover art, arrange for wholesale and retail distribution, handle our own promotion and PR, and not only that, we, unlike you, actually engage with our end customers, the readers – a section of the food chain that your part of the business is still barely aware of and never listens to. And we do all this on our own time and our own dime, without anybody paying us an advance. [Read more…]

THE WORM OF THE AGES, now in paperback!

While I was formatting and uploading The Worm of the Ages and Other Tails, I did the necessary work to lay out the paperback edition in InDesign. The approval process at CreateSpace takes a bit longer, because human eyes and brains have to be involved: colour prepress work for book covers is still an art as well as a science. That, too, has now been completed, and I am pleased to announce that The Worm of the Ages is already available in a print edition.

Click on the cover image below (or in the right margin of this page, if you’re viewing on a PC screen), and choose the ebook for $2.99 U.S. or the trade paperback for $6.99.

Worm-of-the-Ages_613

Our thanks and blessings to all those Loyal Readers who have already purchased the ebook!

Next up: Style is the Rocket, coming to you in June!

New release: THE WORM OF THE AGES

A slight change of plans: Since The Worm of the Ages and Other Tails is ready for release now, and Style is the Rocket isn’t quite yet, we have chosen to publish Worm immediately.

Click here to buy the ebook of The Worm of the Ages and Other Tails!

The Worm of the Ages is the first short story collection by Yr. Obt. Svt., Tom Simon. It contains five stories which have previously appeared on this blog—

The Worm of the Ages
Droll’s audition
Magic’s pawnshop
A case of vengeance
Kundenschmerz

And as a bonus, a new story, ‘The wrongs of the matter’, never before published in any medium. Buy yours today! Be the envy of your friends and the puzzlement of your neighbours!

For the time being, Worm will be sold only through Amazon. That means you can borrow it through Kindle Unlimited, which I heartily recommend you do if you are a subscriber. I get paid either way. You can acquire it for the trivial price of $2.99 in U.S. greenbacks, or an equivalent amount in the dosh of your own country. Available wherever Amazon sells books.

A song for Chesterton

And a little while afterwards, when my sea journey was over, the sight of men working in the English fields reminded me again that there are still songs for the harvest and for many agricultural routines. And I suddenly wondered why if this were so it should be quite unknown for any modern trade to have a ritual poetry. How did people come to chant rude poems while pulling certain ropes or gathering certain fruit, and why did nobody do anything of the kind while producing any of the modern things? Why is a modern newspaper never printed by people singing in chorus? Why do shopmen seldom, if ever, sing?

—G. K. Chesterton, ‘The Little Birds Who Won’t Sing’

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.

—Elbert Hubbard

Chesterton was a man of many gifts, but presence of mind was not always among them. He was, in fact, so famously absent-minded that he is remembered (among his many other achievements) for sending a telegram to his wife: ‘Am at Market Harborough. Where ought I to be?’ And this absence of presence, if I may put it so, led him occasionally to behave as a damn fool, and sometimes, I am afraid, he exceeded Hubbard’s limit. His little excursus into the musical habits of shopmen and printers stands as a fair example. [Read more…]

The role of publishers in the Internet age

The publisher’s fantasy:

The reality:

Despite all our best efforts to educate them, consumers are not actually as stupid as all that. They know how to ride around. Alas.

Writers, on the other hand, can frequently be bamboozled into paying the toll. You just have to convince them that it will bring them Fame and Prestige. They want to brag to their friends and relations about being found worthy to pass the gate. They imagine that these persons will be impressed; whereas in actuality, the friends and relations will only respond with a hearty horselaugh. But by then, we have the writer in our clutches. Our minions’ contracts are for life and the afterlife; they are signed in the awful covenant of the Copyright Law, which is far more enduring than blood.

     (signed)
     H. Smiggy McStudge

Technical tribulations

Earlier today, our Esteemed Webgoblins (at Godaddy.com) suffered a meltdown on the ancient server that has been hosting the Bondwine site. We spent much of the day on the phone with technical support, rejigging this and renoberating that; and now the site has been moved to a spanking new WordPress server, with enhanced security and all the modern inconveniences.

Unfortunately, a couple of recent comments by our Loyal Readers have been lost in the transfer. Our particular apologies to Malcolm the Cynic.

In other news, today I had the honour to be included in a Google+ live chat thingy conducted by Jason Rennie of Sci Phi Journal, featuring John C. Wright, L. Jagi Lamplighter Wright, Ben Zwycky, and sundry other luminaries of the nascent Superversive SF movement. A splendid time was guaranteed for all; and duly delivered. I hope I shall have the honour to return.

Listen to the recording; unless you know what’s good for you.

Comparing notes

An interesting day today.

Our Esteemed Cover Artist, Sarah Dimento, delivered the cover design for my forthcoming story collection, The Worm of the Ages and Other Tails. (Current plan is to release Style is the Rocket in May and Worm in June. I have another short book that may be ready to go in July, if my health holds up.)

Here is a closer look at the cover:

[Read more…]