How to invent realistic character names

Want just the right name for a character? A name that perfectly expresses his role in the story, without being a spoiler? A handle that reveals his unique quiddity, without revealing too much? A moniker that speaks from soul to soul? A collocation of vocables that grabs the reader right in the kishkes and won’t let go?

Look no further. You can use any one of these.

(Except ‘Dan Smith’. That would be ridiculous.)

You’re welcome.


  1. A friend of mine once overheard a mother on the subway chastising her little boy by the name of, I kid you not, Spatula.

    “Spatula, you get down from there right now!” O.O

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