The role of the Agent

As portrayed with eerie accuracy by John Belushi in The Rutles: All You Need Is Cash.

Mission statement

People occasionally ask exactly what Bondwine Books, as a business entity, is setting out to do. After 30 seconds of panic a long and intensive strategy session, we stole commissioned the following explanatory video. I think this perfectly summarizes what we are all about.

And now, a message from our Tech Dept.

As my 3.6 Loyal Readers will note, I have recently installed a Tip Jar on this website (see at right), and am beginning work on setting up an automated mailing list. For those of you who may wish to do similar tasks on your own WordPress installations, here is a simple training video that tells you nearly everything you need to know about how these tasks are done.

This technology was originally developed by Chrysler for use in the electronic diagnosis and denoberation of transmission misaccelerance, but has recently found a whole new range of uses in the emulation of dystactic fimularity on hexameric server configurations, such as that employed by WordPress. I hope you find the original description as informative and helpful as I did.


And now, a public-service announcement

First, an item of late news:

I have been unable to write or work at much of anything for several weeks, because (as it turns out) my thyroid gland has gone walkabout. So I spend an average of about 16 hours per day sleeping, and the rest in a waking fog, whilst my thyroid schleps about the Northern Territory, communing with kangaroos, dodging crocodiles, and pretending to be Paul Hogan with very little success. At least it hasn’t been eaten yet. Medication is forthcoming once tests have been completed and results resultivated.

In the meantime, allow me to remind you all of Unbreakable Rule #5 of Good SF, courtesy of Reginald Pikedevant:

This is old information, but apparently there are some benighted souls who have not yet received the news. Spread the word! And remember, there may be a quiz on this later in the term.

Replying to a rejection slip

The correct etiquette, as demonstrated by Dylan Moran:

‘To do it with a flugelhorn was a stroke of genius.’

Robert Muchamore’s 10-Minute Guide to Becoming a Literary Genius

Thanks to Barbara Morgenroth and The Passive Voice.

How to invent realistic character names

Want just the right name for a character? A name that perfectly expresses his role in the story, without being a spoiler? A handle that reveals his unique quiddity, without revealing too much? A moniker that speaks from soul to soul? A collocation of vocables that grabs the reader right in the kishkes and won’t let go?

Look no further. You can use any one of these.

(Except ‘Dan Smith’. That would be ridiculous.)

You’re welcome.

John Cleese on creativity

It’s easier to do trivial things that are urgent than it is to do important things that are not urgent, like thinking; and it’s also easier to do little things we know we can do than to start on big things that we’re not so sure about.

—John Cleese

Cleese on creativity, 1991:

[Read more…]

Mitchell and Webb on reality TV

That Mitchell and Webb Look presents the biggest thing on television since Pimp My Iron Junkyard Surviving Brother: